trying the new

after working and trying being graphic designer at photo studio... and i felt that i dont like the monoton job. hmm.. just arrange the photo and tadaa....

hmmm.. what i felt very bless.. my dream come true.... what i had dream for years and now the matahari called me... really i dont know what should i take and what should the way i must took.. many option come to me and many ways to reach my dream but, i need God to lead my way.. every step i will take.. i dont know what in my mind, but what i believe God always with me, so i dont worry to lost the way..

im really adore what God planing for my life.. for my better future... what i dream about, what had happening now.. i think its about God prepare everything in the good time... im learning at Hawa and now i will learning again at other company....

like what dy said to me.. my life will at serpong and my mom and dad at kepa.. its really what dy said... i always thankful to have friend like him.. he know everything about my life.. im so proud to have friend like him... i love so much!

Bible Camp memory....

thanks to God that bible camp can held like we prepare... and im so excited to told in this blog about bible camp...

hmmm... day one...

im got busy in the morning because i must buy snack on tomang in the morning.. and i must go to tomang as fast as i can... and back to home and bring all of things.. and im not forget to msg dy to remember that bible camp.... 

as usual dy, come late.. when i arrive church dy msg me

"ini bnetr lagi udah mo jalan.." and he ask me to take guitar on music room.. and he told me " udh mo sampe kok ini.."

okey.. than im waiting...  and we waiting for kak daud... we told to kak daud that we will go on 9.00 but, there no sign that kak daud will come.. hahahhaa..... we just bring all the things to church's car.. and when i and dy back to church tang told us that kak daud will come.. and... we must bring out the things on church's car to kak daud's car... hahahhaa...

before that.. when i and dy on church's car i asking...

" pak redi sendirian aja dy nanti?"

" yaudah nanti gw temenin.. ke handle gak lu sendiri disana?"

" insya Tuhan..."

oke while on the way to sawangan, dy got little busy with his job.. sometimes mei called him and he called his dad..

arrive!

and then we have ice breaking and we sing a song.. im handle it.. after we sing a song and ice breaking we got lunch.. before lunch i going to toilet and yap.. i got the mens... hahahhaa.. and i got busy going back to toilet.. and when all lunch dy asking " ngapain sih bolak balik mlulu" and as usual he asking me to eat.. when kids play games with kak daud, im eating alone.. and i leave my food on dining room, and he asking "fel, siapa punya?" and i just raise my finger... 

and i love how dy taking care of me.. asking me to eat.. asking me when im sick... i love the way he take care me...

on the first day.. we got coffee we drink it.. on the night i got msg him that i can not sleep... and he too!

on the second day...

i wake up early and look dy's room and we met in front of aula he can not sleep.. and i told him i can not sleep just sleep wile and a wake again.. and we said "kebanyakan kopi"

Geark=gerak tubuh! we got gymnastic... and then we got session after that outbond time... and this day i got bad day... im not fit and the M make me crazy.. no mood for doing anything...

when outbond held.. i really cannot stand on my feet.. when my group go to pos 2 dy, come to pos 2. and looking the game and said " guru pendampingnya bantuin donk..." and i wake and standing and dy said " yang itu mah.. udah gak apa.. gurunya soalnya udah kyk mo mati..." 

and... 

i go to pos 4... after that my group go to pos 1...playing flavor.. hmmm after pos 4 i called dy but he not answering.. and when we arrive to pos 1.. tadaa... its a miracle... dy come... i dont know why he come to pos 1, i know he waiting for children to come to his pos, but why must pos 1.. and.. after my group finihed from pos 1, we go to pos 3.. dy's pos... tadaa.... im very bless to have friend like him.. hmmm... after pos 3 finished, together we go to pos 5.. on the way dy asking me.. "kenapa sih? sakit?" "lagi itu..." " ohh.. yudah nanti digantiin aja..."

and we go play and chit chat while break time.. and kids want swimming... before swimming, on our lunch.. dy singing "bukan lautan, bukan kolam....." when he know i got M and want swimming... and as usual he asking me to eat... 

swimming time..... dy give the phone to me... and he swimming... i love when he take care the children.. and when he swimming, mei called... on the first call " dy.. mei tlpon" "angkat aja.." and i answering it.. but, mei ring off it.. and the viber called... and im not answering.. and the third... im answering it...

" halo mei, felis nih.. si hendy lagi berenang..."

" blh kasih ke hendy gak tlponnya? penting bnget.."

" oke tunggu bentr ya..."

on his phone... i guest that mei asking dy using clothes or not, because dy aswering " pake kok..."

and i go to dy to give the phone.. mei asking the way.. i dont know where she want go... after that.. dy give it the phone to me...

after swimming dy, tang and i prepare for the blitzminiplex... and the problem comes..the dvd can not play... we find the way.. after the dvd play we going to bath.. and ocel got wrong way.. and phone tang and dy.. and dy want pick up in front of, so dy drove tang's car.. and he give the tang's phone to me.. and dy asking " fel, ikut..." oohh.. and i go with him.. and dy said that tang's car enak banget.. lancar bnet.. "cobain deh.. mau cobain gak?"

after pick up ocel, we prepare for the bbq... i prepare the satay and sosis, and dy prepare the corn... and after he finished prepare the corn, he help me the satay..and i told him about everything i want told him.. about my decision, about my dream... hmm... im really dont know what i want told him, but im really want share everything with him... i know dy just very bust about his job.. he prepare the pameran on jcc before the day we go bible camp.. so, i know how tired he had... but, im very bless to have friend like him.. i have friend that i can share everything... i love the tie when we share together.. i love time when we spending together.. im very very love.. and he handle to kipasin arang... hahaha....

this night we very tired and sleepy... while prepare the present dy got very sleepy and sleep on aula.. And i handle his kids to saat teduh and sleep... i can not sleep but, i can sleep more than day before... hmmm.... and i wake up early... some kids just wake up... so im wake up and prepare to other and cleaning the bbq... and one by one wake up... and some asking who cleaning the bbq... when tang wake up on 5 it still mess.. and when he wake up every thing is clean.. dy just smile... ahhahaha.. 

we always work together like teamwork me and dy, and the other.. but almost i and dy work together... cleaning, prepare, set up, everything that we can did together.. and when kids signing the bag.. STT play and dy know the trick... but im not yet.. as usual i got cengok face.. and dy said "lagi lagi.. ada gurunya tuh yang penasaran..." im really using the cengkok face... and i dont know the trick of that.. im so excited to answering that.. and dy laughing at me with my nerd and cengkok face... when i know the trick im so happy and im jumping and dancing.. " tuh liat aja klo dah seneng.. sampe sebegitunya..' or soemthing the other words.. im forget.. but the meaning is.. how i so happy to know the trick... and when i know the trick for the other game im so happy because dy dont know the trick.. hahahahha.. but i told him the trick... 

after while long discussion  about the way to back home oh the way we going home i and dy like we go we sit in front of.. and mei phone dy and they got discussion about the project and dy got little angry "kan itu ada penambahan.." "kmren dikasih layout gak mau tasu sih.. ya sama aja mo di kiri apa kanan, yang penting ada penambahan gak tau kan..." i know that intonation.. and i and dy go to third chapel. and dy going with mei... when im sleep dy and mei got phone and i dont know he left me alone, and i still dizzling and when im sleep dy out from the chapel and said "masuk lahh..." and i go to inside.. met mei and sit back them.. mei going out... and when they back.. i see mei cry while chapel.. dy just cuek to mei.... and chapel finished they go to jcc.. 

i dont know what had happen with them.. but i always pray for the best for them.. for his preparation, his project... all of the things he had...

oh God.. i dont know how i can stop telling about dy.. dy is my best friend, my best shoulder, he know everything without im telling, he know me more than myself... how i forget him.. maybe its this the way im foret dy.. working at karawaci, so i can not met him and see what had happen in his office... but God, i dont know how i standing when dy not near to me.. how i stepping to the nect step with out him.. i know i must forget him.. i know i must move o from him.. how can God.. im asking and please show me the way... but, please God dont take far dy from me... iknow i must go, but i want this friendship still and never ending.. because our friendship is never ending.. i love when he  take care me, i love when he grumble with me.. 

this moment i can not forget, this is the memory i have before he getting married... after married.. i hope mei can being my the other side shoulder.. i love them.. i love our friendship.. i love moment that we have...

this bible camp is the best memory i will have on this year, before the big day..

i love my sunday school, i love all of happen in bible camp...

6 days left!!!

lalallaa.....

lilililliii...

i dont know what i feel now.. hmm.. just count for my last day....

6 days left!!!!

huuuuaaa...

so excited.. so happy, confused, every emotion combining to be one.. hmm... campur adukk...

and i so excited to wait the bible camp.. ohhh.... it my last day is going fast.. please..... time come faster.. and be slow when bible hold ... because on that time i can near and make closer with dy.. sometimes i want share what i had decision.. like what dy said... " yudah bonyok lu tinggal dmana, lu dmana gtu.. susah bnget.." and.... now.. it will be happen in my life dy... you always now what had happen in my life... and the best for my life.. but, i must move on from him.. i know it.. but, i know too its so hard to did that....

sharing again.. on first sunday of june

this sunday my mom and emak go to vietnam and we drop them to airport. wake up at 2 am.. still dizzling.. after we back to home we sleep again.. hahaha.. and i wake up at 5 and go to first chapel..really sleepy when the chapel is going... and i sit alone.. after that, i waiting the sunday school time.. and amazing that dy come early.. not like usual he come late.. hahaha... and he asking who storry telling? 

after sunday school, pra remaja had bazaar and i go down lo see it.. and i interest with that bakmi.. hmm... dy go down first i dont lnow what had happen because he had called till out beside his car, and looks seriously with his dad... and i buy the bakmi..  after dy finished his phone, we walk together and he met AL so he talk with him and i leave it.. i eat alone.. and i not finished.. and dy just got the bakmi from his mom... and he eat while he talk with leo and manda... i want give my half bakmi.. but i dont have a dare to sharing it.. and at one moment, i said to him "angkat ko soni" and i talk to him.. 

"mau gak?" 

"makanlah.. masih banyak... mkan dulu aja.. nih, lu kalo mkan sama dia pesen nasi aja.. lauknya nanti dari dia.." 

"tadi kan bnyak banget.. gak abis.." 

" tau gtu gw gak usah beli tadi..."

hahahha... and leo and manda laughing together...

and we go to persiapan... and he leave first because from the morning i got flu... and he looks not fit. and he leave it... 

i dont know, why im very happy.. every i sharing food with him, it looks im a little girl.. and on lunch i said "yahh.. temen sharing gw gak ada..." hahaha... 

i really love what had happen in sunday.. and i love sunday so much... when sunday come, i want it walk slowly than the other day.. i want more and more near by best sharing partner... i know sometimes i felt that what i did is wrong.. i must not near to dy, because soon he will can not near to me again..but, God, at least i can enjoy my life sharing with them before that day.. i really love it..

and maybe dy and mei had commitment to come to evening chapel, because they had some weeks on evening chapel.. ahh.... can i walk together whole my life? i love sharing time.. i love discussion time, i love caring time.. and i always love when we had together time... 

first june

finally... june comes so fast... and i will resign from this company.. and i already told to the boss why i want quit from this company... feel free now.. and everything had happened just like nothing anymore... please be nice june for me... please end of june come faster.. i will quit and i will spend 2 nights with my best shoulder... i hope when retreat come i will fit.. because now i'm so excited waiting the end of june...

after i told to the boss why im quit... hmm.. i feel free and just waiting the time for last day... but, im so bless because i can be part of hawacomm.. i can learn many things in here, i can learn to control my emotion, control my time.. and im feel like a professional designer... but, i feel when im working my time is gone.. i dont have time again with my friends.. some appointment i cancel because i got overtime.. like i must go to dentist and i cancel it because i got overtime.. other time i must go to church and im late because after im back from client office i had overtime again.. hmm.. just nice overtime i had...

sometimes i love when im being seriously working, but sometimes i really bored with this condition.. i want being freelancer.. i can arrange the client time, and of course with me time... i love when i had me time.. i love when im being free.... can everything going well like i dream? can everything i through and i being strong woman like i want be? can i not told everything again to dy? when im quit i told him.. ooohhh... nooo.....can i? can i being dependent woman?

count weeks and days from im quit.. 28 june.. please come faster... and please be slow when bible camp on held.. it our last time togetherness? it our last time before you getting marriage? iis it a last time you care to me? i will miss your grumble, i will  miss when you take care me while grumbling... i will miss time when you drive me safely.. i will miss time when i treat you batagor.. can it will be same like now when you already marriage? can we still together as friend. as a best friend. as a best shoulder. can you give you warm hug when im crying? can you still on my side when im alone? i dont realize that i must do that...

please june be nice for me.. please be nice to hawacomm too.. please be nice to sunday school too when everything will going on... please God lead every way took.. please being my best leader. showing me the best way, hold my hand when i lost my way.. please be nice for every people closed to me...

june.. i will miss it.. count days.. and im very excited.. i know i may not being so excited.. because when im so excited my illness will come to me.... 

i'm drive and his drive

okeii.. this sunday is make me happy and more happy...


everything i told to my mom and dad.. i want resign.. oohh.. its make me fell freee...


and the most wonderful is i, dy, reni, and tang got survey to depok... we go alone without church's car... 
on sunday school.. i got panic because dy still not come at 8.30... and while sunday school i got maag.. and feeling dizzling.. but im sure im oke lahh.. hmmm.. till the end of sunday school tang told that he want ssurvey to depok.. and dy said "sampe jem1 gak? klo gak sampe jem 1 gw bisa.." and he going to survey.. hmm.... before we go every one eat.. and i buy fried rice that i bought.. and the taste is really not delicious... and i asking dy he want or not and he look at my fried rice and he smelt it and the dont want...
okey.. after we finished eat and we go to survey.. im asking who's drive? thay not answering.. okei.... im drive.. on our way we so many laugh and talk so many things.. about my boss and dy said many things... we laugh together... dy told me about the way we must take.. hmm.. and till we arrive at near the location we got wrong way, and we stop at one location and permit to toilet... and dy got drive after that... he said that "udah lama gak nyetir manual.."


and.. arrived!!! and im so shock!!!
that place is same place with that we cancel on h-1.. and im still not believe.. after walking and looking around.. and we going back.. dy driving... ahh.. still love that dy's drive.. because like papi's drive.. and i got really sleepy... 


ahh.. i love this sunday very much... 


ohh.. when we got eat on church, tang said 
"si felis malah nawarin gw mkan nasi... lu ada maag ya?"
"dia mah maagnya akut.... lu ikut gak sih yg diragunan? kyk udah mo mati dia.." dy answering tang question...


hahahha.... i love when he caring me.. i love when he take care me.. i love when share everything together. i love when we spen our time together....


ahh.. really love this sunday.. i love that tim.. i love when im drive and his drive time... sometimes me called him... and dy said "iya gw ama dia udah seharian nih dikantor. pulag malem masih nelpon lagi..  ampund eh emngnya tadi di kantor masih kgk ckup apa udh seharian gitu..." and he told again about when mei got fall down because nabrang tiang... "kan lagi jalan bertiga gw, mei, ama tmen gw.. gw udah minggir gtu, trus nih anak kgk minggir.. ya nabrak lahh.. "


ahhh.. i love when we sharing... 


what i love again is.. when yoan's reception... im drive to the reception.. and i met dy and mei.. i ove looks mei.. and we got cupika cupiki.. and mei asking me "tadi ke greja nya gak fel?" "gak lah mei.. kankerja.. lu juga enggak kan.. bina pra nikah.." hahahhaa... and when i want go home i said goodbye to mei and dy.. and they said "ati-ati ya fel.."


i love this weekend.. it's make me more and more bless to born this earth and having friends like them... i really have the best shoulder.. my best friend...


next i will drive again for him.. and still love when dy's drive... 
:) :) :) 

my emotion

entahlah tpi bener2 bener lagi ngerasa keki banget ama ini bos... bener deh.. ampun ampun mo marah tpi gak tau gmna ungkapinnya.... tpi mesti mengendalikan amarahmu juga.. 

perjalanan yang ckup jauh yang udah gw jalananin disini... banyak senang dan duka... hehehehe... mungkin ini waktunya... 

one day on our over time he said 

"kalau sore saya mesti nangkepin kalian kalian nih.. soalnya cepet kabur..." 

>>>>> hey boss.... our business hour is till 6 o clock... and why you always come to studio at 6 o clock.. dont blame us if we go home at that time... its our right to going home at 6! and why you always give feedback at last time.. we hate that boss!!! are you thinking we like you, who loves work... we need freedom.. and i still want enjoying my life! i like nerd lady who can enjoying my life! who cant hang out with my friend...

and on the other our over time.....

"mereka mah udah kenyang makan biskuit..."

>>>> hey stupid boss, who will be full to eat biscuit??? are you? makan nasi aje kadang masih suka laper... you think we are crazy huh???? we will full eat biscuit?!?!?! if we sick you will responsibility??? are you crazy??? why you loves give us over time....

oh God... its life?

always love Sunday

yyeeeahhhh.. its sunday and i always love sunday... this sunday i teach on 5-6 class.. and while teaching i go to my class... hmmm... and get some discussion with dy... after finish sunday school i back to 3-4 class and had little conversation and i asking to reni about tali senar for new absent.. hmmm... and dy said "biarin aja dia yang urus sendiri..." 
hahahaha... its dy i know... 

and while persiapan its going good... ahh.. only when we got lunch.. i gave half my lunch to him.. and when i spread it some body asking me... hahahha... and.. tadaaa.... when i gave him.... i know he will grumble.. and.... that's right.. he grumble to me... what i love again is discussion about wedding!!! some people is preparing for wedding.. and dy told many things about wedding.. hmmm..... its look nice to know you more and more dy....

sometimes i felt im not yet ready for that big day..but, time must flies and live must go on so i must move on.. and i must make it happen my dream.... oohhh nooo.. its count month for that day.. dy just said "bulan 12" but i know that date... 1.12.12. its looks nice date dy....


and for my family we really preparing the new house at serpong.. buy the new things for everything for that house... and im sooo excited for resign to this company and make own company... please God lead my way on this way.. i really can not stay longer for this company again... but im so thankful because i can learn many things in this company... sooner or later i will resign....

free....

14 mei 2012

today i want say thank you God for bless me.. for guide and lead every way i took.... i feel bless for being freelancer...  today i got free no boss so i can do my freelance at office.. and.. over all i think is going well... i can do it!... im very thank you for the client come... i hope everything is will be fine...


i hope i can handle all of the client and the project.. and i can handle all of the cash flow i had... very bless to have you Lord... looks i walk with You.. You lead my way to the best way.. i felt that You lead every time and You prepare the best for my life... about the job, freelance, dream.. oh God you really awesome i have....

get ride

today, 13 may 2012...

im very bless for this sunny sunday day... i dont know what had happen but, what all of happen in my life today is very special for me... and silly thing too...

i went to church with out drive.. when sunday school start dy came to 5-6 class with is guitar on second floor, and i told that 3-4 in gsg... so, he go down again.. i dont know why he came to upstair... its a magical.. and after sunday school i go to down stair and meet my lovely friend.... no much talk about... and after we met, dy looking for mei.. and he not find it.. i just said, telpon lahh... and he did it.. and i and mei met... and they go to TU and after that they go home... and i go home too.. after talking to other... because today i'm not drive, i walk to home.. and on my way to home.. dy's car though me.. and mei called " cewek.. cewekkk...." and i looking.. ahhh its mei and dy... "masuk fell..." mei said that to me.. "dari kanan..." dy said that.. and i go home with them.. and as usual dy's car like little home and office walk.. hahahaha... and he drive safety.. and dy told to mei where is my home... 

thank to my beloved friends! sometimes what had happen with us its so meaningful for me.. they looks like angles in my life.. guard me, caring me, hold my hand.. so i can fall down... they laughing together with me, they on my side when im sad, they showing me the best way to i took.. 

i love them so much! i love what had happen in my life with them...

still dreaming

what a dreaming i had today.. i dream about dy, mei, and me.. triangle love we had...
 hmm... i dont know what it s meaning of this dreaming... but, what i dream is about dy keep caring me even mei on his side...

ohh God.. can that dream being reality in my life? i dont what can i live without dy.. what i felt know, dy still caring me when mei on his side, like my dream today... can i still dream like what i dreaming of? now what i felt is dy still caring me and mei sometimes caring me too.. and they being a really true friends for me...

now i know what a different between friend and true friend... i dont know what i felt but i felt really love my friends now... can i live without dy? now its count month of the day.. i always save the date! first december.. ohh nooo.. i cant wait soo long for that day.. can i see the happiness of that life? can i support them? can he still being partner for discussing? can i strong to see the every moment will happen on first december? 


now, i just want share the best moment for them... sharing, discuss, crying, laughing together with them.. i love what mei did for me.. she caring me, she loving me like dy did.. i love them so much! how they care to me, how dy grumble with me.. i never forget about dy's grumble... i never met friend who loves grumble to me like dy did.. he know me so well.... he caring me like hi did to me... i love how them caring me and teach me.. how we discuss.. every time, every moment we spend....


please God.. lead my way, lead every way i took, every way they took, too.... im very bless to have friend like them.. im very bless what had happen in my life... 


i hope, what i had dreaming is what i felt now....

on my dream.. i just alone, and dy and mei come to me... and what i love is, dy caring to me... he standing beside me, on his silence and asking about me, while mei oh his other side.. i love.. how them caring me... i hope its not only dreaming....

what i love again is last week on sunday school, i and mei had little conversation about their wedding preparation and of course about freelance.. and mei supporting me being freelancer... i hope it can be realistic... and. dy, told me that what he meaning of the book. "maksud gw mah buku yang kecil kcil aja..." "gak ada dy buku yang kecil2 gtu..." "ohh gak ada ya.. ini brapa?" "ada lah...." and he still smile.. i know what he meaning....

rainy, grumble, but i love

this sunday i feel more and more bless and thankful for what had happening...
with this beauty sunday but not sun day.. its rainy day its more beautiful day i had..

as usual we teach sunday school and as usual dy came late.. reni got leader for worship and i prepare for story telling without book.. and when dy come, he bring the book and asking who being story telling.. he just prepare last night and im too prepare last night without book.. and i just decide im being story teller with less preparation.. and i got confuse to telling... and dy handle the activity...

after that i show him about new absent i made.. and he got grumble to me what i had made...
"haduuhh.. ini ngepotin aja dh gunting bentuk bentuk gini.. bsok besok bentuknya yg lbh heboh lgi... hobi sih ya..."

and he help me to setting up the absent... after that... i busy with bon bon and dy want go home.. hmm maybe he want go with mei or else.. because mei called sometimes... and some body come to our class for discuss camp with tang, ocel, reni, me, and dy... we got laugh together... and i said "kapan sih campnya... gak bsa ikut gw..." and dy said " ahh.. lu mo ngpain lgi sih..." i know that intonation.. little angry, disappointed... and finally "yudh.. terserah.." and dy clearly my sentence.. "klo dia blng terserah yudh... berarti dia aja yng kerjain.. hahaha..."

after we finish our discussion, we go down.. and dy said mkan batagor yuk... and.. its rainy... we eat together with out said anythings... and dy got disappear i dont know where he gone.. but i seen his guitar, its mean he still in church and i saw his car... and suddenly, he came out from gsg room and walk to other side from me.. and he turn back to see me....

after he finish, he back to me and said pulang yuk... and we go home...

its count down to his day.... and everything and every moment i spent its very important for me.. the quality time i had its very important for me.. its make memory for me....

im so bless to have friend like him.. and of course reni... we look had good cooperation... im still being connection with dy and reni.... im very bless to tech this clas.. 3-4 class i love our good partnership....

sending the best friend in my life...

im so thank to GOD for sending me the best friend in my life like dy.. i cant got tired to told about dy in my life.. its the best part of my life to have dy... he know me more than myself... its really good friend i have.. he can care to me at the best time in my life.. he can spread the same time with his best friend and his girl friend...

sometimes, i had felt "pu hao i tse" with mei... because, sometimes i and dy got conversation and eye contact with each other, meanwhile there is mei.. and sometimes, when i looking to mei, she got different face when i and dy got closer. but sometimes i need dy on side me...

but, when i got very tired and got sick, mei with her purely caring me.. and the best present i had is mei gave dy to me for caring me so well. like she did when the day after my sis wedding, she said to me "tetep dijagain kok fel.. tenang aja..." this is the best part i had.. even they can not come, but what they gave to me its so meaningful for my life... 

im so glad to have friend like mei and dy.. mei caring me like dy did.. and mei can on my side when there is no dy on my side.. what i worry is after they marrige. can i still closer with dy? i hope i can still closer with him.. i dont know with whom i must talk to and discuss everything in my life.. dy has open minded, mature, and he has diffrent think with what i think.. i love what dy think.. he can thinks diffrent with the other.. 

i love what dy did to me.. like he did after evening chapel... still caring me when mei on his side.. he can watch what i did, and asking to me.. he is the best friend i have.. he still caring me, he still watch me from far, still asking what i did... its a memoriable moment tha i had with him... everything is memoriable moment with dy, i cant delete it from my mind...

but, what i should do is i must, prepare to stand on my feet. i cant depend with dy forever... dy has mei, mei has dy.. so i cant live with this condition.. can i find the other one like dy? with his mature, with his open minded, with his capable.. time flies so fast, his day is count month.. i pray for the best and everything is going well on the day.. hope dy and mei have a wonderful life after marrige.. 

maybe i cant help them but, what i can do is pray for the best.. ahh.. dy will lives on puri mediterania near ko ronald.. so, the serpong keys what i look is maybe is his client's keys... ahh.. still not believe that dy will marrige soon on this year...

i love my best friend, i love my best partner in my life.. i love dy so much with mei, too... i love their relationship... its make dy more mature.. 

wasting time, gasoline, energy but we had quality time...

i cant told in words what i felt on this sunday... reni cant come to sunday school and i just teach alone, because dy as usual come late... hmmm... dy got story telling so long... and i felt very sleepy, so when he story telling i got sleep sometimes... after that, we had persipan... and i just felt closer with him.. sit side by side... and got eat lunch together.. i can not finished the lunch.. and i gave to dy 3/4 part of my lunch.. he finished my chicken... ohh.. so beauty sunday i had.. 

when we got conversation after sunday school, i told him that i got overtime on 2 weeks.. and he asking what  I did... he asking and make sure what i did.. you being graphic designer, sometimes accountant? sometimes interior design? ckckckck.. i just said, that i felt tired because had overtime 2 weeks... really tired and sleepy....

when he bring ko soni down, and i help ria to bring down the wheelchair, after that dy  asking me to open the car's door... like we had good collaborate to helping each other.. after we helping we going back to upstair.. 

when we got conversation.. dy said, that he will go to evening chapel... with his mama papa and of course mei. because mei got katekisasi after that... i said that, i think i dont go to chapel.. "lu udah kebaktian emngnya?" dy asking to me.. "blm.. tpi sore mo pergi, jdi kyknya gak bisa.."

and when dy want going back, i asking ka indri to grumble when he left the bulletin.. 

"hen.. jgan ditinggal gitu donkk...."' ocel ngm gtu.. 

" hah? apan?" dy said...

" itu bulletin..." and ka indri got ngoceh2 sama hendy.. hahahha... 

and dy turn back to me and he said.. " ngocehnya gak kyk elu..." hahaha...

i dont know meaning of dy's said.. but, what i think is, when he forget something, i always bring it to him.. but, with ka indri, ka indri and ocel get grumble and told how about perjuangan for photo copy the bulletin.. and hendy help me to bring the box.. i bring one, and he bring one too... the the guitar, ka indri help it... 

when i want back, i said that "gw belanja dlu deh.." 

" lu mo belanja? ya ayuk deh... lu bawa mobil kan? lu plng dlu, trus ntar gw jemput, blnja di cp aja.." 

and when i arrived home, he pick up me again.. and... tadaaa... what you think of the tanjung duren road! its soooo traffic! really trafic.. and we got jalan tikus and around tanjung duren is really traffic! and when we on the way to cp, mei called and he said.. " ini mo belanja buat sekolah minggu dlu ke cp cman kyknya gak jadi tanjung duren macet banget, belanja di puri aja.. jadi ke rumah dlu? nanti sama papamama.. oh iya, nanti kamu itu ya... sama felis..." and the end of phone.. 

i dont know, i just comfort with him.. and finaly we going back home again... we got some text after he drop me at home.. and we had, conversation about bali.. he asking me " mo kemna lu minggu dpan?" and he told me more and more about bali...

at evening... finally i can wake up and go to evening chapel.. i just sit alone, and mama papa come sit beside me.. at back there is hendry.. i just afraid to sit near him...but, i just felt safety because there are dy's parents... and when chapel is going mei and dy come.. after chapel finished.. i just felt alone and no friend with me... mei and dy just queue for dinner... and i just take water.. when they queue for shake hands dy saw me... and he watch me so clearly, but we dont smile or say hi to each other.. dy out first and when i going out, i saw they queue the dinner.. 

im going out, and take a breath and got some conv with the other, and talk to vania... and i'm going back to gsg and saw dy and mei,  i just being cengok face... and  i take the water again.. when i turn back..

"gak mkan? makan lah.. enak kok.." dy said to me while mei take water... and we had some far, so i just see his mouth...

the next question that make me melt is :" tadi dri mana? kok dari luar?"

wow.. im so shock that dy asking me and he watching me from where i come....

on this time.. i just really know dy very well.. he so care to me so deeply.. and he care to me when there is mei on his side... i saw his eyes, its so clearly and deeply asking about me... 

and i come closer with them...  and mei shakehand to me to said " selamat hari minggu" after that mei going to up stair... dy just take the wallet from mei... dy want eat again, but he shy.. and together we take the dinner. finally i eat the dinner..  and, we had conv about teng-tengan sekolah minggu.. we just talk much about that, and someone weird at our church.. hmmm... and we had discuss about who want shopping...  

im really bless to have friend like him.. who can care to me, more than myself...  what i like is keep watching and care to me while there is his girlfriend... soo blessing to have friend like him.. 

Share time....

Today i feel more bless again from our friendship with dy... Honestly we seldom contact and hang out together, we just talk about sunday school and sunday school sometimes 3d.. But it alwyas make me feel better...

Ahhh.. Today i forget bring my wallet and i got treat with dy.. Hahaha...and we got soo closed i think... I realy can not descripe all in words but i just feel bless... Realy i can not live with out friend like him... The best friend i have! Pure best friend who know me so well... He always make me calm, think more, and learn something new.. Bless to know him...

Today, the first time he know i bought ipad, and he asked me new or ipad2.. He want see if that is new ipad... And i just talk about i sell my ipod touch.. And he got conversation about apple... So much fun... And he still caring me.. About the food on persiapan i think its not good smell and dy said it oke kok... And i open it.. I dont like the smell.. And i said i dont want again.. And dy said... "yaudh buang aja"

Today he bring the ipad too.. And you know what... We have a same case for ipad! Hahaha jyst diffrent color.. Black and brown! Hahaha... And he asking hmmm... Maybe he not asking but clrify about my job.... "sebenernya lu tuh kerja apa sihhh.. Interior iya, finance iya..." hahahaha... So many things i told to dy.. He asking about cc honeymoon.. "cici udah honemoon" "udah.... Orng maknya ikut..." "la itu mah bkan honemoon klo maknya ikut... Kyk sodaranya mei pas honeymoon sepupunya ikut... Yaelah itu mah bkan honeymoon..." yaaa... I know, and i reealy know dy doesn't like it from his intonation... Hahahha...

After everybody going home... I and still in church.. Waiting for ko soni wheelchair... Because the church car is going to tang's home... And dy said "lu yng nngguin? Gw balik duluan..." "yudah.. Lu balik aja duluan.. Agw tgguin mreks juga plingan bntr doank..." but.... What you think is.. D py still waiting me.. Hahahha.. Untill church's car come... Ahhh... So bless for this moment.. And he asking about papi's car... "bokap jdi beli crv?" "jadi.. Tpu second.. Yang noceng cc.." and we had goood conversation about this.... I told him about the car.. And dy just told me the good bengkel near relasi... Ahh.. So nice to know himmm..

What i can feel is nobody do like dy did... The pure friendship i have.. Still feeling bless to knoe him.. About hid caring, about his knowladge... Nobody like dy in church.. Who still caring me when in same time there is their special one.... Aahhh.. I cant say any words again to descripe him.. I must ready to lost him.. I must prepare to believe my self...

I hope dy still being dy.. I hope when the day come he still being dy who always caring me.. Who always grumbleling me of my illness.. Who Have many knowladge and information...

Until now i can not find the other like dy did... He always have his way to caring me.. He always do on his way so noody know it.. But i can feel it...

have a "new friend"

wonderful long long holiday i have... ahh.. so lovely this long weekend... i got permit to my boss.. and i got prepare for moving to serpong... very tired this weekend end... and no dy on sunday.... he just arrive from hk on saturday night! hope he had wonderful trip... hahahhaa.....

and on friday i bought new gadge! hhuuuuaaa... so happy but i felt this wasting my money.. oklahh.. i think i want it.. for my leisure time....

and i got very tired for this weekend for friday and saturday.. really tired... and sunday i go to church from serpong.. im drive! so amazeee..... and no dy... aad after sunday school i got lunch with reni to bakmi balon... hmm.. get more conversation and feel we have more soul in 3-4 teacher.. ahhh.. dy whatsapp me but i dont read, and he phone me.. hehehe.. he asking about persiapan.. i think he dont remember about persiapan...

now, i felt bored about this job.. and really dont have time to fun again.. really want resign from this company.. huuuaa... really want move to serpong quickly.. want make it happen my dream as soon as... but sometimes im affraid to walk alone to make my own company.. please god show your way.. i need partner discuss everything with them... i need share idea with them too.. hooo.. how i can through this feeling till the best time i said resign to my boss...

sometimes i want share more about my feeling with dy.. but i know, dy is not for me so i cant share everything with him... i just want him being my best partner to discuss... i know this feeling must gone as soon as.. i know later mei and dy will marrige.. i just pray for the best for them... huuuaa.... really can not leave my best friend... can i stand on alone? can we share our dy,mei? from what i see is.. you can give your dy to me.. like you said to me after the day my sis wedding... " tetep dijagain kok fel" what special words come out from you...

thanks god for everythiong had happen in my life.. please god show me the best way to make my dream happen.. the best way.. hopefully.. after annual report project finish i can resign and prepare my own company.. ohhh.. God.. please... i dont want to deep to this company.. so many company out side need graphic designer... :)

have a wonderful life!

sunday... sun day...

this sunday no special from other sunday before.. just feel very tired. because i got overtime at home till 2 am, and i woke up again at 5 am for first chapel.. fuuuihhh... and this sunday threre is nothing special.. just feel what i can feel.. very tired! and of course very sleepy...

no dy on this sunday,and i must do it all by myself and i cant not discuss with the other.. who have open minded, have many knowledge, have many news, so i can learn and know news from him.. great to know him...

ahh... everyone asking where is dy.. i just said " hari ini emang dia gak dteng.." oohh... i dont know why tang always asking where is hendy.. when he met dy's mom he asking again... before that he asking me.. and i already answer him... i dont listen clearly what mama said.. but i trust mama dont tell that dy travel to hk. hahahha....

im very happy to through this sunday... even i'm very want share something with dy.. but, what can i do there is no dy... what can i felt is bless!!!

and now, we prepare for moving to serpong.. hopefully i can through all off this.. :)

i can do it

this is what i feel now.. just bored with my condition.. fuuiihhh.....

everyday happen like same things... absent, lunch, go home, and of course overtime!

sometimes i and my mate the office has some conversation... i think its just basa basi i think.. and sometimes i felt very bored with my boss i have...

can not wait for the best time for i resign... hopefully everything is going smooth well on the date... on our preparation for moving to serpong, and i got spirit for resign from this company.... ohh damn! i cant imagine what should i do if i resign.. please god show your best way for me..  know you prepare the best for me.. i skip my dream to aussie... i skip my dream to get master.. ohh god... with whom i must shared again.. no dy, no sis... just can shared with You my best best lead...

sometimes i felt lonely, empty... really bored with my routine, because everyday looks same like yesterday...

just felt bored on today, sometime i felt fun, but mostly i felt bored!

how i solve this felt, listening music? watching movie?

i dont have much time again for my self.. i dont have time for i hang out, for me time.. i dont have anymore... i think this is make me bored... how i solve it? can i live with out anybody i loved? my family and of course my best friend!

can not wait for fist december! huuuaa.... its ur big big day dy!!! i cant not give anythings just give the best our friendship. now our friendship include ur fiance, Mei... i'm happy for that... and i just give the best pray for your life... hope everything what you prepare is smoothly perfect...

can you drive for me again after marriage? can you still grumble for me? can you still care with your own way for me? can you still being my best shoulder, my best partner for discuss? can you still like dy i know before? i hope you never change... i learn too much from you, and now i must learn how i stand on my own feet... i can do it!

i believe i can do it!!!

what a wonderful family i have!

what i have is very super duper wonderful family i have... on sunday we have spent our time at iik khiat apartment.. so many things we talk, so many happen on thare..
it's very wonderful family....

sometimes i share my life with them.. all of my life... many laugh we share... laugh till we cry.... i love my family soo big!

no matter, how far our house but its wonderful time we have..

im so bless to have a magic family like this.. laugh, cry, share i spent it together... hope we have a near home.. maybe so much time we will spent...

the always make my life blast!

sometimes when i bored at office i just bbm with them and its make me laugh alone at office,,. it always make me happy.... so much time i want spent with meli, nesa, fanny, and whole my family....

loph the full deh....

take me home safely!

everyday i feel bless but on sunday im feel more bless to God! this sunday is make me more and more thank God for sending me a best friend like dy.. like dy my best best friend and also my best shoulder.. everything i told to him... so greatful to know him...

this sunday what i felt is really bless to know him, being my best partner to discuss, being my best friend to know me as well than me.. this sunday he make us worry because till 8.20 he didn't come... hahahaha... as usual he came late... and after sunday school we got little conversation about my side job that i got on saturday... and i told him how about my side job and about what must i do.. and dy teach me so well as he did... its make me more learn about interior design... really so bless to know him.. and everybody think we had meeting, honestly we just got heart warm conversation.. there is amoy, amoy just give money to me and she leave us.. dy just ask "gw gak dikasih duit moy.. duit apa kek" hahahhaa....

still love my best friend.... ahh.. and we got conversation and i give look to him what i make for the exhibition and i teach me how to i solve the client... and we go down and got more conversation with the other. after the other leave.. i and dy still at church and he ask to eat batagor.. and we got eat batagor together.. so bless have him.. maybe he know about my feeling lonely...

on we buy batagor we talk more.. i said
"papi mo beli mobil lagi kyknya"
"lagi?!"
"iya, kan yang avanza item buat cici, jadi gak ada mbil lagi deh..."
"mo beli apa?"
"crv sih maunya.. "
"captiva bgus juga, reviewnya bagus...."

the other we talk
"pngen resign nih dy.. abisnya ntr klo pindah rumah juga males gw kerja ke tomang gitu.." "ya ternyata bosen juga kerja sama orang.."
dy just keep smile and no comment about my words...

the best moment after we eat batagor we go to kitchen take glass and dy said " wah si mei udah sampe rmah gw nih kyknya"
he ask me "plng pake apa?"
"jalan kaki"
"kesian amat"
"lu mo anterin gw plng gak?"
"yaudah ayok.."

we walk together  and dy said " lu tunggu disini aja" and i said " gak usalah lah, jlan aja"

and when we arrive at his car.. mei call
and dy just said "iya ini lgi dijalan.. baru jlan.. mobil mama gak ada? masuk aja dulu... iya ini baru jlan... bawa aja tasnya.. smuanya dibaw aja.. nanti pke mobil aku aja.."

and when i open the door! taraaa.... i just see little home..
hahhahaa..... there are mei's heels, indomi, plate for bread, and many more...

hahahhaa... i just help him to clean it... hahahha.. so crazy car i ever seen... and he take he home safely.... on in front of my home he just shock "sejak kapan mobil bokap lu jadi itu?" "ohh itu mobil bilabong" "apan tuh bilabong" "yayasan panti jompo..." and we say good bye...

wonderful moment i have with my best shoulder... i got heart warming conversation with him.. have a wonderful moment and time with him... so great to knowing him... please time dont go faster....

ah ... dy will go to hk with mei.. i dont know with whom they go.. but im very happy to know where he will go... on mei's b'day they will come back.. hope you have a wonderful trip and have a safe flight you have!

really wonderful have friend like you... feel more bless again to know you as me friend!

make it happen the dream!

i start bored with this job.. fuuihiihh....

my life time has spend at the office and i dont have time again for having fun and feel bored with all of this.. my deal is i want resign to this company... make a new company..

i really bored with this.. everyday looks same like everyday no spectacular in my life. no blast in everyday.. everyday looks same for me....

ahhh.. really bored though tis feeling ... now i know what mei's feeling when she being stewardess.. i think this feeling is same as me now.. it has been almost 1 year i work with hawacomm.. sometimes fun, crazy.. sometimes i enjoyed it but sometimes i felt bored with all of this and i want move to this feeling...

soon i will resign! i promise to my self.. i can not tell to everyone.. i just want share to dy what i feel now at my work.. very tired! when i arrived i just want relax and sleep more time... cant not tell to other people just want share with dy only.... fuuiihh.. later i cant tell as free like now.. later when i got marriage i cant fell free to tell him.. 

thinking move to serpong, and now dy has open his office to tanjung duren.. just thinking again where he lives after marriage.. can we being neighborhood? 

oh God please let me through this feeling so i can feel more bless with this work... im really tired with all of this.. please lead me the best way i can take.. take it or leave it.. please God show me the best way i can take.. hope i can being like dy who can take the risk, who can make decision, who can lead... hope i can learn from dy from our friendship...

will i miss him later? hope we can still have shred time like we did now.. so much fun and wonderful life when i met him in my life... very very wonderful life i have when he come to my life...

make it happen. what i have dream and thinking!

happy wedding my sis!!!

happy wedding my sis... ur new life begin....
the plan is going smooth perfectly...
ahhh.. thank to God for guide whole the event so its make perfectly done!

i will miss my sis.. my life start begin to.. alone at home.... i must enjoy it...

ok, but life must going.....

dy can not come to the reception either holy matrimony....

and we start talk about beautiful sunday i had!
lucky me i can wake up early and can go to sunday school... and when i arrived
taaaddaaa...
i see dy's car on park... but i not see him....
ya i not think more and sunday school must go on..

just tang tell dy being "cemong-cemong" and i not think more about dy, because i still flying... hehehehe...
sunday school must start and i didnt see him again.... and he not prepare the box like reni told to him.. ahhh.... i never trust to leave sunday school to him alone.. hahahhaa....

after sunday school, i still busy with sunday school children and he still not come... till i go down to eat batagor.. i saw him... dy with mei... and dy saw me and he smile to me.. i went to drink, and go up stair again and go down again to eat batagor... when i take drink he look back to me.. and when i back from buy batagor we smile.. and i eat batagor alone.. poor me.. when i eat dy and mei come to me..

"sorry fel, kmren gak bisa dteng..." dy said to me...
"selamat menempuh hidup baru" mei said to me.. ahhahaha.. we laugh together....
and one sentence i love dy said to me
"selamat menikmati tinggal sendiri..." "kmren sampe jem brpa?"
"gw sampe stgah 12 lah dirmh..."
"lu masih beler bnget fel.." mei said to me... "bersihin make upnya kan yang susah..'
and they want go to eat...
"nanti balik lagi kok..." dy said.... and one i love is
"tenang fel.. tetep dijagain kok...." mei said to me.. i love it!!!

thanks so much mei.. you give your love one to caring me... thank so much to love me as your friend....

and i got some text while persiapan with dy... i love.. he keep saw me despite we not sit near, but we still keep eye contact....

tang told me when he met dy...
"untung si felis dateng.. tau aja sih tuh anak..."

hahaha.. i always know dy.. i cant leave sunday school to you alone... hahahha... i love my sunday school mate at 3-4.. i think we have good communication and we have good understanding to each other...

ahh.. someday i will told to dy ahh.. tang ask me hendy mo merrit ya.. i just answer no commen.. and he said  masa lu gak tau sih.. ahhahaa... ini adalah orng kesekian yang nanya dia mo merrit.. hahahhaa...

ahh.. what i feel bless is why dy is the first one said different with the other to say congrats... he not say congrats to my sis, but he said to me to keep enjoy live alone at home.. why and why... why must dy know me so well than myself.. why he come to my life so deep till heart... why must he told me like that... ohh god.. its a real friendship i have to him.. even we not have good spend time on this sunday but, very words come out from his its so meaningful to me..
so deep meaning to me....

thank God, for every moment i had...
i will enjoy my alone live...

4 days left!

it only 4 days left to my sis big day...
so excited so many things we must prepare.. ahhh... if i can get holiday 1 weeks its more wonderful i think.. hehehe

oke.. now the problem is....
i think i will cry when the holy matrimony.. i know it can not be cry but i must strong... ahh.. wonder that dy come with in or without mei on his side.. i wanna see his smile on the day... or i will miss him.. soon i will left him.. ahh.. i want he see me as my best friend...

on 9gag said different of best friend and friend.. best friend when his/her friend sick they will said " you will died" hahaha.. and this is like happen between us... dy always said "mending mati aja lu.." "udah kyk orng mati aja" hahhaa.. its like dy did to me...

and today i got chit chat with kak novita, and we discuss little about kak novita, she said hendy pasti jadi suami yang setia.. and i said, dia menjadi pendamping yang setia.. walau suka ngoceh ngoceh tapi ttp aja dibantuin.. hehehhe

its like dy did....

i love my shoulder too much!

five days more!!!

not more than one week its my sis wedding....

so excited, so sad..  but it must fell happy... ahh... so any preparation we must do.. day by day.. and its the last week we will have...

bless sunday i have on this sunday.. dy come and i can see his smile again, and make me calm... ah... mei going to chapel and dy going to sunday school.. and i said that next week no me and reni.... hahahha.. and reni titip aktivitas to hendy and i told to reni "tmpaknya lu salh nitip ke hendy" hahaha... mei pun ngakak...

ahh... and after sunday scholl, one of my student lead the preayer in english.. and after that mei just look like cengok face because the prayer.. oh.. and hen dy said "doanya hafalan" hahahhaa...

ahh.. i almost forget to give the invitation to tatan, because he already go home.. lucky me i met ci sonya and ko andi.. and i let it to him...

after there is nothing in sunday school mei and dy go to tanjung duren.. may be see how the renovation of their office.. i think its not yet finish of renovation....

now i count day to the biggest day of my sis.. fuiiihh....

lost my soul

this monday, like disaster for me.. no energy in my soul, mind to work....

yesterday, dy not come to sunday school.. he text me... he ask about the rain and the end of he not come...

i think its not make me energy for this monday....
this make is too lazy for me..
i want long weekend but, the weekend is over....

countdown for my sis wedding...
finally, my gown is finished... i can find the best swaroski for the gown, and the other equipment for the wedding..
fuuiihh.. i make many permit for my work..
lucky my boss so kind about permit...

learn to stand on my feet, learn about my future life....

ahhh... moving to serpong i can not wait for that.... can i go to kepa like i did now? can i get closer with my best friend like we did now? can i come to his wedding party on december? huh? many plan we did....

i miss my best shoulder too much... i miss our spending time for laughing, cry, support, discuss... many time we lost.... i get busy with my sis wedding preparation, and you will did too... prepare for your big day...

too nice to know you.... too bad if i lost you...

my best shoulder while time....
:)

miss my ray

i lost my true friend..
ray..

i cant contact him..
too afraid to contact him....
poor me can not contact him again

my true friend....
who can make me know many things
i lost him...
since that special party..

i dont know where is he now
i not dare to contact him
i miss chit chat with him...

i miss laugh together...
i miss share with him

how i must contact him again?
i really not dare of date

laughing together...
till we meet again...
keep rolling buddy!!

friendship is never end

you can keep me smile...

you can make me calm...

you can show me the way...

looks you are so perfect...

but, i not you born not for me...

i know this feeling must gone...

but, our friendship is still warm....

i can get happiness from you

i can learn from you many lesson...

i feel more feeling when i near you...

i feel more bless to have friend like you...

i hope this friendship will never end...

the beauty friendship i have...

from i teenage till now im mature

pure friendship i have

so nice to know him

the mature one, the strong man 

the weak i know...

friendship will never end till we grow old...

will i meet someone like him?

picky friendly, humble

warm with his friend

cool with who not near.....

can i back to time we shared ?

can i back when he being my shoulder ?

i never forget....

the worst had happen in my service....

and he help me

you are so kind to me..

too humble with me

i' so proud to have friend like him...

too poor if i lost him....

.dy.

happy valentine....

this year, on my valentine still being single and very happy woman...

i remember when last year valentine... im with Dy! i learn 3d max on my home.., and dy asking me today corse or not... ahh... last valentine so nice to me.. but today my valentine i feel still alone... my friends busy with their partner....

still single and happy on this year valentine... i still have more energy to survive....

please be nice on this valentine.. i fell bless what had happen in my life.. thanks Lord, you sent me the best family i have.. family who always care to me... best friend who know my condition, and friends who always make me smile and cry...

the best love i get is from God.. through my family.. the best present i got from this valentine is my best friends include my best shoulder.. the other present i got is friends.. the love of friendship...

too glad to have them in my life.. to poor if i lost them...

thank you Lord...

happy valentine day everyone!

spend time with......

Thanks Lord for beauty Sunday i had.. very Sunday is my special moment to shared everything to my special friend... last week he came with mei, and now he came alone.. ahhh.. Lord thanks for yesterday moment... i always remember every moment i shared with him...

as usual he came late to sunday school, he said "tadi gitar gw ketinggalan, jadi balik lagi deh.." i and reni was worry because its almost 8.30 and he still not come... ahh.. wonderful time i had with him... 

hew bring his ipad, and i ask about the plastic and he said " kmren kan beli yang putih, trus gw kasih mei.. gw beli lagi yang baru.." and i still wondering about his kind... and he left his bag to me... 

 

as usual we eat batagor and i paid all for dy and reni too... ahh.. its best moment... we shared in front of church waiting the batagor... and i stole his car's key and he looking that, and he judge vania stole it.. and he ask me " lu yang ngumpetin yaa..." and  i said 'yes..." and i bring it out from my bag.. "gila dimsukin ke dalam tasnya lagi...." hahhahaha

after we eat i bring back the he plate and dy too... and i said

"dy nanti pas cici dteng ya.. tanggal 3..."

"oh iya... dimana sih?"

" bapindo..."

" lnte brapa?"

" lante 9"

and i go to kitchen to bring glass for drink.. i bring two glass... for me and dy.. because i know he will drink after eat batagor... wile i walk back to front i give the glass to dy when we met at the corridor. he want go to kitchen take the glass... and i give it to him... ahh... so nice i can serve him as i can....

and before pembinaan... i ask about the wedding... it will held on PIK... and he tell me about the wedding building....

" iye, nyesek gw... pas udh dp pik, trus tanya bapindo, harga selisih dikit... tpi bapindo gak enak ngantri liftnya.... klo ini kan parkirnya gede, trus gak perlu ngantri lift.. ya doain aja biar gak ujan..."

" trus nanti tinggal mna?"

" ini lagi bangun...'

the worst i dont ask him about where is it.. poor me... 

and we little bit discuss about the wedding... and pembinaan start it!

i dont know about mei's character.. when we eat batagor i think mei's call because when i hold his bag the phone is vibrate and he hang up i think its mei.. and dy said yang ikut pembinaan sedikit, jadi mo ikut. and then dy said the other topic again. ya masa ke uri or pik terus sih.. yaaa apalah.. i dont heard clearly...

and when we wait for pembinaan. mikha ask me " lu sabtu kerja fel?' and dy said " sudahalah jangan membuka luka lama..." hahahhaha... thanks Dy your help  me to answer it!

it's wonderful moment i had... pembinaan not yet finish and he want go... ahh... still feel bless every sunday i spent with him.. ahh. when sunday school he ask 

" gak ada aktivitas.." 

" makanya klau orng whats app diblesss...."

hahahhaha....

its my precious moment i spent with him.. if there is mei, i think it would not be same like this... very thanks lord had sent me friend who knows me as well.... i think he knows my character as well than me....

ohh Lord... can i life with out him? can i stand up with out him? ohh Lord... may i still on his beside after his married? can i still on his side for we care each other?

ahhh... time flies to fast Lord.. now February... and i dont have much time to share with him.. maybe for the next next week he will bring mei and i can not spare more my time with him...

ohh Lord, can you stop the time when we spend our time together? when kebersamaan GSM on March Dy can not join with us.. and i think i will not too because  want prepare the serpong house for moving.. ahhh.. time flies to fast and i cant count till the first december... 

at least what i can learn from this sunday, he still not leave me alone... thanks Lord.. when there is Mei, he still not leave me alone too.. like last week. im so happy he not leave me alone.. im happy they can on my side when im alone... ahh.. the impirt think i told to dy is, i told about what reni ask to me...

"wktu kmaren reni crita sama gw... ada yang nanya si hndy mo merit ya emangnya? trus gw tanya siapa emangnya yang nana trus katanya oche yang nanya..'

still not believe i can still share with dy.. every moment i have.. happy, sad, confused.. the worst moment i not yet tell  him.. about the moving, about the resign from this company.. ahh.. Lord, help me to find the best time i can shred with him.. please Lord dont take our quality time.. the quality time from friendship is important for me... its can make he closed to him....

please Lord, for take slow the time.. so i can enjoy my time with him,.., lord, i still can not believe to leave him.. please take mo to stand up alone Lord... i know you not leave me alone.. you will sent the best friend agin like you sent dy to my life.. my best shoulder to cry on, y shoulder to make me smile again... my best shoulder when i sick.. Lord, please sent me the other best friend who can take care me as dy did to me...

untill now i not find the best shoulder like dy did to me.. i know maybe its will not same.. my best shoulder can not change by the other... he still in my deep heart... he still being my best shoulder... thanks Lord, because i didn't get sick... i dont know who can cares me like dy did... who can drives so safety like papi's drive... who can i ask to discuss everything happen in my life... 

thanks Lord i can spend my life with him... he will go abroad 12/14 till 24 march.. lucky me he can come cici's wedding.. i fell bless about that....

thanks lord what had happen in my life on this sunday....

nice to see you again

its so nice to see you again dy after 2 weeks you sick.. and now you getting better and you not going lost your weight... hahhaa....

the best gift this sunday is, dy come with mei too.. and we have little conversation... the good news is the mei's contract will end this end of month (feb)... waaa... so nice to heard that news... so she will stay at jkt as long as she want... because when we had conversation she said, she bored.. hehehhee

and i think dy not go to persiapan... and finally he follow the persiapan..... but, he not follow till end.. after the first lesson he went out.... and before that mei said...
"udh balik? gak pa?"
"iya, dia biasa begitu mei.."
"tau gitu gw nunggu di luar"
hahahahaha

it's dy i know...

what i thank to God.. i just like alone child, but dy and mei come to near me with me to make me smile again.... i eat batagor alone, you are busy with your wedding preparation administration. and when i go upstair you eat batagor.. and i sit alone at upstair you come and sit near with me.. with mei beside me and dy beside her... ahh.. so nice to near them... my lovely best friend.... and you still never leave me alone... although mei with you, but you never leave me alone.. you always still beside me... but, there is difference,,, i cant share everything again with you dy.. because there is mei... we cant go closed as before...

one thing i never forget is, you never leave me alone... thanks God for sending me friend like that... so kindly, so friendly.... so calm, so mature, very know me... i know you never leave me alone dy.. thanks God for this sunday... i can see his face again with good condition...

its really nice sunday i had!

thats one thing i never forget.. you still never leave me alone.. you still care about me... like you did to me when i cry alone...

next moment i had is i met my junior high school.. Amel...
i drive alone to karawaci.. so nice and have good communication with her.. so nice to conversation with her..

thanks Gos for beauty sunday i have

galau feeling

still not believe that time flies soo fast... now we on second month of 2012...

everyday i fell same day.... just working, and go home... work and work.. im so bored about this life.. i want little fun in my life... just bored about this activity.... wake up, work, and go home... my weekend time just lost because i must work on saturday.. and after go home, i felt tired... just want sleep..

i dont have time again for i relax... go home and go to sleep... and sometimes my boss give bbm to explain the brief for tomorrow.. what a perfect life i have....

now, i have little money, i have energy, but i dont have time to relax my life... last when i was young, i have time and energy, but i dont have money to relax.... later if i grow old, i have time and money but i dont have energy.. its life! so cruel!!!!

now i feel i dont have friend again in my life.. just my office mate... mcna, haikal, pak budi and others in office.... i seldom contact with mar and other collage friends... i miss my collage time.. so fun.. so memory able.. i want back to my collage life... so amazing...

just like i have my own earth.... no body else.. just my family.... ahhh.. so bad this life....

please be nice february

ohh No! its second month of 2012!! its february....

31 days we pass on 2012, and i dont do anything for my life... just looking the new job vacancy... and now i must find it at tangerang area... its very difficult to find it....

ok, not more than 1 month is my sis big day.. oohh.. please, be nice this february... love month, please be nice to me.. for many times im in single for valentine.... aaahh... last year is my different valentine! last year valentine i'm with dy! im learn 3d max at my home... ahh.. so nice my last valentine.. but now, its not same thing like last year.....

hey february.. so please be nice with me.. hope on this february i can find the new one of job... :)

end of January

today is end of january..

what i have learn on this january is so many things, but i didn't take any decision for my life... 

start february i must take risk!

start from update my cv, and sent it to many company on tangerang... learn something and many things i learn while almost one year...  i'm very thanks God because i can learn from this company... soon, i will make my own company for graphic design....

and yesterday is last week on january... dy, didn't come because i think he on recovery from dbd... still quite no hendy on church, my life is flat! nobody company me to eat batagor... and i must eat alone and nobody can company for discuss everything... i hope on february dy can come to sunday school again and can teach together... we can spen many times again to laugh and care each other, helping each other...

my sadness is when dy sick i cant visit him on hospital.. poor me... why i'm not spend more time to visit him at hospital... i said he is my best friend, but why i can not spend time for my best friend.... oh.. my sadness....

i can not wait for our time again dy... everything is look nice if you beside me... :) everything is can be handle with you.. oh.. you look mature now.. you look different when i know you before... now, you will count down with your big day... its only 10 months from now...

start now i will learn everything for i can stand up on my own feet.. later if i move to serpong, everything will be different again.. oh no.. i can not imagine how it will be going... my work, my service, my closed friend of course... hope, what i saw at your car is happen! serpong's key complete!

so nice if everything happen realistic... 

other side, i want forget dy in my life.. i want everything had happen with us forgotten! sometimes i miss our time.. specially when i cry alone at second floor and dy came again to support me... im not forget about that time.. he help me to stand up, he support me... and only he come back to see me... i think why now i always depend with him... 

oh.. God, how i not depend to him again.. everything had happen with my life i always share with him.. he has difference side with i look.. oh.. God im so great full have friend like him... im so greatest to have him... 

Thanks God you already sent me him in my life.. my life is never flat with him.. my life is adventure with him.. my life more value with him... from Dy i can learn more and more.. but, i think i can learn and stay closed with him till this year.. after this year, i hope i still closed to him...